The end of all things will be televised

And so as 2010 draws to an end it also marks the end of a decade - the first decade of the 21st Century. And with the end of this decade comes the end of a very important chapter in my life. In short I have grown up! Over the last 10 years I have graduated from high school, college and university as well as have become a qualified secondary school teacher. My formal education is behind me: I have grown from a teenager into a man. I have made and lost friends; I have been in love and had my heart broken. There have been many new beginnings and some untimely endings. Through this process of maturation I have learnt much about life, about responsibility, about pressure and expectations and about faith.

So I look back on this past decade for the last time. My future is ahead of me and I can only imagine if it will be as eventful as the last 10 years. In many ways I feel like the character JD from Scrubs as he left Sacred Heart Hospital. Always prone to fantasising his life, as he stepped out of that building for the last time, his final shift over, he imagines what the future may bring him: whether it will bring him the happiness of love and friendship he holds so dear and desires about all else. It is a very moving and poignant scene and made for very powerful television. In my own sentimental and romantic way I too stand at a precipice. A new epoch, a new era of my life is about to begin. I pray that the lessons I have learnt of life and faith will hold me in good sted in the decade to come as I seek to grow as a man and as I find my place in this world.

So 2011 beckons and a new dawn is about to rise. I am happy to be alive and desire more of God. Life is a journey; a journey of self discovery and self fulfillment. It is a journey in which, if we are perceptive enough, we will learn more about our divine Creator, through nature, through our relationships and experiences and through Scripture. The other night I watched the Last Samurai for the first time. That film is also about endings - the end of a proud warrior tradition; of a noble aristocratic warrior code. The lead character Katsumoto is persuaded, by Tom Cruises's character, to lead one last act of defiance against the vanguard of Westernisation that was heavily influenced by the American negotiators and diplomats. Faced with the latest in military technology, Katsumoto's Samurai are no match for the Imperial Japanese army armed with Canons, rifles and Gatling Guns and tragically, yet heroically Katsumoto is shot down and dies a martyr. In the final scene of the film the young Emperor of Japan asks Tom Cruise how Katsumoto died to which Cruise's character replies:

"I will tell you how he lived!"

Jesus was a man who lived with the utmost integrity. Jesus was a man who taught the world not just about love through his death, but about what it means to be human through his life. He was a teacher, a devout and pious man of God, yet without all the hypocritical trappings and character flaws of the religious leaders of his day. Oh to have been alive and to have lived along side Jesus! As Tom Cruise's character slowly comes to admire and respect Katsumoto's Samurai way of life, so too as I learn more about Jesus I am compelled to live as he did; to emulate his compassion and mercy; to be led and guided by his wisdom, to have such a strong sense of justice as he did and to embody and personify the love and faith that he epitomised. Jesus truly was a great man; who though died a criminal's death unjustly, died a martyr and more importantly died a saviour.

Just as the cherry blossom symbolised the Samurai's life - beautiful, noble yet fleeting; so too the Bible says man's life is but grass, like a mist that quickly evapourates. We are mortal and our mortality is fragile. But I choose with the life I have been gifted by God, with every breath I take, to grow in stature of faith and love; to nurture the essence of God that has been imputed to me by the Holy Spirit and to grow closer to my Creator. Jesus lived roughly 33 years. Like the Samurai his life was short. But what a life! He lived the equivilant of 10 lives in his short one! With what ever time God graces me with I want to make it count; I don't want to waste such a precious gift. I will be 25 in 2011; I will have lived a quarter of a century on this earth - I want to make sure that every single day is made to count; that the true essence and Shekinah Glory of God is revealed to me and that in every way I can learn what it truly means to live as Jesus taught me.

I have a suspicion that my future may lie abroad. Before Jesus ascended into Heaven he commissioned his Apostles to:

"Go forth and make disciples of all nations..."

I desire to see God's kingdom grow here on earth: to see lives saved and to see Satan's kingdom diminish. The Bible says to store up for yourself treasure in heaven and when I die I want to have a nice, healthy bank account waiting for me! I would love to go to Japan but I do not know for certain what God's plan for my future is. I just need to be open to it. To live every day as if it were my last. It is said that the Samurai's life was a preparation for his death. The same is true of the Christian.

So I welcome the New Year and just as Japan is known as the land of the rising Sun, so I desire to see the Son of God rise over the earth to administer justice, peace, equality and love.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day...

So here I am, on Christmas eve 2010, waiting for the inevitable. I want to share something very precious, something close to my heart - I want to share what has been going on in my journey with God. This time of year always throws up many conflicting emotions and feelings: you have the spirituality of the Gospel message of Hope conflicting with the plastic artificiality of the materialistic impulses of what has come to define much of the secular side of Christmas. I'm not against spending at Christmas, nor am I against buying presents that say something of our affection, love and gratitude towards our friends and loved ones. Nevertheless as I get older, and the 'magic' of Christmas begins to wear thin, I cannot help but feel in some way uninspired by the emphasis upon materialistic consumption at this time of year. When I was a child I would know what I wanted for Christmas and ask, expecting to receive exactly what I'd asked for oblivious of cost or sacrifice on my parents' part. As I reflect I am reminded what the Bible teaches from 1 Corinthians:

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me." 1 Corinthians 13:11

As an adult I have a far greater appreciation for the financial sacrifice that my parents must have made to accomodate my Christmas list. Like many parents I was allowed to believe as a child that Father Christmas, or Santa Claus, was the kindly and munificent person who would provide me with my materialistic desires. I believe that whilst the pseudonym of Santa Claus is in itself an act of gracious love that does not seek its own ego; unfortunately it does nevertheless fuel a selfishness in children that detaches the receiving of presents from a genuine gratitude towards those from whom they are bought. And thus as an adult my attention at Christmas is drawn away from a materialistic perspective towards one of faith.

But it is not the subject of faith at Christmas that I want to address. It is, more personally to my life at present, my own walk with God. This Christmas I have been challenged with deep rooted bitterness. Bitterness towards those who have hurt me deeply in the past. Those to whom I have allowed in years gone by to place a dark cloud over my thoughts and feelings at Christmas time. One such person, and the foremost person of my resentment, was my ex. Having believed I had forgiven her for the hurt she caused me, I assumed the matter dealt with. But after searching my heart I realised I had not let that hurt go. I had clung on to the hurt as a kind of excuse for the bitterness I still felt towards her. Convicted of such ungodly emotions as sin I began to pray, not only for my forgiveness but for her wellbeing. For the past couple of weeks I have been actively praying for those people who I have perceived to have wronged me. I have been praying for their happiness, wellbeing, faith and for peace. As I prayed, selflessly for these people I truly felt a sense of God's peace rest with me. I felt a release; a freedom and a joy in my spirit. I knew that I had grown closer to the true heart of God.

For God is a God of grace as well as judgement. A God of love as well as wrath. And ultimately a God who deserves to be worshipped and praised for who He is; not for what he can do for us but for who He is. God is not some sort of cosmic Santa Claus with whom we bring our spiritual Christmas list too and expect to receive everything we ask for. God sent his Son into the world because He so loved the world! (John 3:16) God first loved us. He taught us the meaning of love, the meaning of forgiveness and the meaning of grace.

"Anyone who claims to live in the light but hates his own brother is still in the darkness." 1 John 2:9

God showed me grace by forgiving my sin through the way of atonement by the death of Jesus Christ. Not only is God the creator of all life, He is also the author of salvation. We have done nothing of ourselves to deserve His divine forgiveness and grace. This is the God whom deserves to be worshipped, deserves to be followed and above all deserves our love. By examining my own heart, in accordance with Scripture I knew I was far from the true essence of God. I may still be single, but I am now much closer to the heart of God. This is a realisation that is beautiful and a transformation that is astonishing.

Merry Christmas one and all :-)

Hope for Israel

As I read from the Gospels of Matthew and Luke this morning; re-reading the nativity stories of the birth of Jesus, something very powerfully struck me: both Gospels placed emphasis on hope of the salvation of Israel through the birth of Jesus. Matthew's Gospel, which bears many signs that it was written with a very Jewish audience in mind, states very clearly that Jesus' birth and first coming was the fulfilment of many Old Testament prophecies including Isaiah and Jeremiah. Isaiah 7:14 says:

"Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and give birth to a son and will call him Immanuel."

This prophecy is directly quoted in connection to the receiving of the news to Mary from the Angel that she was to give birth to Jesus. Yet even in Luke's Gospel, purposefully written for a Gentile named Theophilus (Luke 1:3), places special emphasis on the salvation of Israel through the reference to two people within the Temple when Mary and Joseph presented Jesus to God in Jerusalem. One was a man called Simeon, the other a prophetess called Anna. Through Simeon's declaration of faith, as he was filled with the Holy Spirit, Jesus is called the:

"glory to your people Israel."

Whilst Jesus is also described as a light to the Gentiles it was clear to me that Israel is very much a focus within the Gospel narrative of the birth of Jesus. This was a watershed moment within Israel's history - a new epoch had dawned; Israel's messiah was born...and he was the Son of God himself!

There are many within the Church who interpret Jesus' first coming and his death and resurrection purely in Gentile terms. Jesus great commission to his disciples to go forth unto the ends of the earth is seen as the point where God's focus shifted from one nation (Israel) to the world. Indeed many within the Church today are hostile towards Israel and have no thought of taking the Gospel to Jesus' own people.

I do not believe this was God's intention. I do not believe the Church has replaced Israel in God's eyes. I do not believe the Gospel is a totally Gentile affair. While the Bible is clear that God wishes none to perish (2 Peter 3:9) and that Jesus is the Light of the World (my emphasis); nevertheless Ephesians describes the relationship between the Church and Israel as being One New Man (Eph 2:15-16). Ephesians states:

"remember that at that time you were separate from Christ excluded from the citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, (my emphasis) without hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.
For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility...His purpose was to create in himself one new man out the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross..." (my emphasis)

Israel is still very much in God's heart. God has not foresaken his ancient covenant people. Neither should the Church.

I received an email recently from a Jewish charity with an article about what to pray for when praying for Israel. Here is a summary for those who feel called to pray for modern day Israel (and I encourage everyone to do so)

1. Israel's military - that Jewish believers in Jesus would find favour in the army and glorify God through their actions and decisions
2. Israel's economy - that the government and successive governments would take responsible and wise action regarding welfare pay outs, especially to the orthodox Jewish community and be able to intergrate them successfully into the work force
3. Freedom of Speech - that Jewish believers in Jesus would not be persecuted by Orthodox Jewish groups and be allowed their freedom of expression within Israel.
4. Israeli Government - an end to the corruption within the government
5. Safety - there are mafia like organisations which run human trafficking as well as Sudanese illegal immigrants that are resorting to crime.
6. Morality - there is growing amorality within Israel as future generations are growing up without a Biblical basis for morality
7. Salvation - Romans 11:26 says "All Israel shall be saved." Pray that Israel would know her saviour and messiah.

I encourage all of you reading this to open your heart to Israel, without whom we would not have the Bible or our saviour, the Son of God, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Struggles, humility and victory!!!

This last week has been quite hard for me. As a part of a new initiative at my school, all teachers graded Satisfactory in their last APR (annual, professional review) will undergo a 12 week programme of observations and guidance in order to become good to outstanding teachers. When I was told I was now on this programme and that my Head of Department would be setting me targets to meet I felt gutted. For the last two years I have trained to become and qualified as a professional teacher. These last two years have been some of the toughest in my life. They have been a period of transition, set backs, recoveries and (very steep) learning curves. But last July I thought I had fully qualified and the days of 'mentoring' were behind me. Alas I was mistaken. And so I left that initial meeting feeling despondant, frustrated and quitely frankly unworthy of being a teacher.

But God has been doing something wonderful through this experience. As I reached out to Him for guidance and strength, as I chose to worship Him despite my feelings, God has been speaking to me: speaking to me about humility, speaking to me about faith and speaking to me about testimony! As I prepared to go into work one morning Jesus' teaching about worrying came to mind. I can only describe it as an epiphany, for at that precise moment I felt the weight of pressure, expectation and fear lift from me. Jesus taught:

"Do not worry about what tomorrow will bring, for each day has enough trouble of its own."

I was instantly uplifted and yet challenged. Was I living by faith through this experience? Where did my hope and strength come from? Last Sunday morning the speaker spoke of 'practical atheism', when believers deny God by their actions. It is one thing to say I am a Christian, but another entirely to live by faith and not by sight; to maintain an integrity of faith even in the hard times. I am in no doubt whatsoever that these next 12 weeks will be hard, trying and pressured. However, through faith I will have the victory. Through faith in the Most High who created the heavens and the stars in the night sky; who created all life on earth and brought salvation to humanity through the crucifixion and resurrection of our blessed Lord Jesus Christ, I will prevail stronger, a better teacher and with a deeper relationship with my God. What a powerful testimony this will bring.

I was also struck as I meditated on the Word of God by the humility Jesus showed as he went to the Cross. Jesus was falsely accused by the Jewish religious authorities, was abandoned by his disciples, even betrayed by one of them! Jesus was mocked and scorned by the Roman guards and crucified by an incensed crowd full of blood lust and anger. Yet despite suffering such public disgrace, torture and humiliation he remained humble, never wavering from His obedience and faith in the Father's Will. As Jesus was nailed to the cross He was even able to pray:

"Father forgive them, for they do not understand what they are doing."

I had certainly not responded to my current circumstances with humility. And I certainly had not lived out Jesus' teaching about forgiveness and love. So I began to pray for my classes that have caused me so many problems and stress this past term. I prayed as the Bible teaches us to, to pray for those who persecute us and to love our enemies. I know I must grow in humility. I know I must live out my faith with integrity, and I know that ultimately it is in times of testing and struggle that our true faith is revealed. But more than this, it is in these times that God can refine our faith by His Holy fire and purify us. It is one thing to know, intellectually, the teachings of the Bible, but a completely different thing to apply them to one's life. It is one thing to memorise the Bible, but another entirely to let it shape our lives, produce in us good fruit of patience, love, kindness, humility, meekness and integrity.

As I continued to read of Jesus' crucifixion it occurred to me that Jesus is still being mocked, rejected and crucified by our society today. Overtly aggressive atheists such as Richard Dawkins wants all religion to be eradicated from the face of the earth, from peoples' psyche both personal and collective. The media and television ridicule Jesus still, with freedom of the press and freedom of speech being exploited to put down Christianity. And people still falsely accuse Jesus of being someone He is not.

Jesus was crucified along with two criminals. One continued to mock Jesus, whilst the other rebuked him and pleaded with Jesus to forgive him. In this age of godlessness, where no one fears God anymore, I believe the Church needs to be like that second criminal speaking out to defend Jesus for who He truly is; not a criminal, but an innocent man; not a danger to society but it's saviour. Interestingly once Jesus had died and hung there lifeless on the cross the people there knew what they had done and went home mourning. One day, when Jesus returns, this society will realise the injustice of their actions and mourn, only it will be too late then! This society needs revival, it needs repentence.

As for me, before Jesus died he cried:

"Father into your hands I commit my spirit."

The Bible teaches us to take up our cross and follow Jesus. Therefore I will make a point of praying every day that I would commit my spirit into God's hands, take up my cross and follow Jesus, not conforming to the pattern of this world.

Remembrance Sunday

Last Thursday was Armistice Day, when we here in Britain remember the soldiers who lost their lives in WWI. Today was Remembrance Sunday when collectively we pay tribute to the soldiers of both world wars. They are solomn occassions. At work, as a history teacher, we raise the issue of whether it is right to remember; or whether, after 90 years, it is time to leave the past behind? For many these times of remembrance are important and the cost of our freedom should never be forgotten. Slogans such as 'Freedom is not free' reverberate as poignant soundbites that bear witness to the hugely tragic cost in human lives and of lost generations of young men.

It is right that we remember the 'Glorious Dead' as is written on the Cenotaph in London. But it is also right that we remember as a society the cost of our spiritual redemption as well. For 2000 years ago, one man from Nazareth, was crucified under Roman orders, just outside of Jerusalem. What made this execution different to the others was the fact that this man, called Jesus, died for the sake of humanity: a human sacrifice, echoing the symbolism of the sacrificial lamb slaughtered in the Temple courts by the Levitical Priests of ancient Israel. For Jesus offered up his life so that we could be forgiven our sins and tresspasses by God. For the Bible teaches that there are only two conditions in life: in slavery to sin or slavery to righteousness. Jesus bought our spiritual redemption and freedom by dying on the Cross. His ultimate sacrifice was the price of our freedom: freedom the Bible teaches us is what God has designed for us. Freedom from judgement; freedom from condemnation and freedom from guilt.

The cost of our political freedom was terribly great. Millions dead, but not in vain, for the fact that the Allied forces won the war and we continue to remember and pay our respect to their deaths. In remembering their lives and the price of our freedom it reminds me that life is still seen as sacred to our society. One life, the most sacred of all, was the cost of salvation. A life that was human, yet divine; a life that personified love. Yet rather than remember Jesus as another of the Glorious Dead, we also remember that He was raised again: resurrected and elevated to the right hand of the throne of God, reunited in glory with the Heavenly Father. This same Jesus that was crucified and resurrected is the same Jesus that is the same yesturday, today and forever. Jesus' sacrifice was a once for all, ultimate sacrifice. His sacrifice is as powerful to save lives as it has been for 2000 years. Believe.

In pursuit of knowing God

A few months ago I posted a blog about the purpose of humanity in which I concluded that knowing God was the ultimate purpose in life and that connecting with this God brings ultimate meaning to our lives. Recently I have been reading a very erudite and concise little book called 'Think God Think Science' subtitled 'conversations on life, the universe, and faith' with Ernest Lucas, Vice-Principal and Tutor of Biblical studies Bristol Baptist College. So far the book has made some very interesting points, ones which I thought were very profound in my understanding of and relationship with God. I said in my previous blog that I hoped this endeavour to know our Creator God would progress and evolve into a more rounded and fully fleshed world view and I believe this book has helped me to do so.

One of the first points that struck me in the debate between Religion and Science was Ernest Lucas' response to Richard Dawkins' criticism of Religion producing a 'poky little medieval view of the universe'. Lucas suggests that what Dawkins describes is not the byproduct of religious skepticism towards Science as a source of truth but rather a trend brought about by our era of post-modernism and an emphasis on individualism and 'self-truth'. While I have been very familiar with post-modernism as a philosophical worldview; I had never thought about it's impact upon our society in creating such an insular, individualistic culture. There has been a shift towards the importance placed upon material gain and accumulation in our Western culture - a result, in part, of the greater emphasis placed upon our individualism by post-modernism. Therefore to discredit Christianity or Religion in general as being 'against' Science is unfair and tarnishes Religion specifically for what is a much broader problem created by certain philosophical leanings of society.

Secondly, the book covers the issue of cosmology and how our understanding of our place within the universe has changed since Ancient times. Our ancestors believed that the earth was the centre of the universe and that the universe revolved around us and not vice versa. Since our more recent scientific discoveries brought about through the scientific revolution of the 17th and 18th centuries by such men as Newton and Copernicus our understanding and perception of the significance of our planet and in deed the human race has changed. Therefore, do our lives hold any meaning and do they carry significance? Lucas' response to this question struck me as very profound. If, as the Bible says, God is a God of love then what he creates, he creates out of love and so has a deep love for what he has created, no matter how small they may appear in the grander picture of the universe. He draws upon the analogy of a parent, holding their new born baby in their arms for the first time. The baby in itself is small and has done nothing of significance in the world, but those parents love that baby unconditionally and completely. Size is not the benchmark for significance. God as our Heavenly Father loves us so deeply and so profoundly not because we are big physically, or because earth is the focal point of the universe, but just because he made us and because he is love. No one is insignificant to God. That is amazing.

The other point the book has made thus far, which I have found particularly captivating and intriguing, especially to my pursuit and understanding of a relationship with God bringing ultimate meaning to our lives is the concept of certain human abilities that transcend the basic need for surival. In the chapter about evolution and whether or not humanity has been made in the image of God, Lucas speaks of certain abilities that he sees as proof that we have been made in God's image, or at least what he understands by being made in God's image. Examples included higher mathmatics, fine art, music and an aesthetical appreciation for beauty. These qualities in us go beyond a Darwinian understanding and application of survival of the fittest. While basic maths and arithmatic is important for survival, post-graduate and higher level maths, the likes of which Einstein applied go far beyond any naturalistic requirement for survival. Likewise the complexity of our music goes far beyond the mating calls and primitive music that animals are able to produce in order to attract mates or warn of approaching predators. Lucas was not arguing that evolution is incorrect or untrue, rather that a theistic understanding of evolution is more satisfactory than an atheistic one.

This has massive implications for our lives: our societies and cultures speak of a Creator God - our ability to produce and have an appreciation for fine art, music and literature implies that we have been made in our Creator's image. Practically everything we do speaks of God. As I write this blog I am listening to Beethoven's 5th piano concerto, this music so complex and sophisticated, yet so beautiful to listen to speaks of a God who made us, to have this capacity to make such music; the computer I am using to type this blog and post it online again speaks of being made in God's image. We are intelligent, creative, self-conscious beings. We have been made in the image of God.

These reflections and meditations bring me such satisfaction when I think of my pursuit of knowing God and having a relationship with him. My pursuits and interests speak of being made in God's image, my ability to learn, adapt, appreciate and create things of intelligent design and sophistication speak of God and in our human race we can know something of what God is like.

One last thought, regarding the implications of these musings: Lucas draws a logical connection between being made in God's image, and the incarnation of God in the person of Jesus Christ. Lucas states:

"A lot of ink has been spilt over the question of what it means to be made in the image of God. I think the simplest way to understand it is that we represent God on earth, that we must be of such a nature that we can reflect something of God in our human personality. This is what makes Incarnation possible, the message of the New Testament that God can become a human being."

Many non-Christians and atheists alike struggle to comprehend how God can become a human being; to Jews and Muslims it is offensive to think of God having a 'son' or 'reducing' himself to human form; to atheists it seems absurd that a person could be at one and the same time a human and a god, with all the powers supposedly attributed to God. But if God has already created us with the capacity to reflect himself in us then being able to incarnate himself in a person, with a physical body and human limitations is possible. As the Bible says "nothing is impossible for God."

And so I come back to the person of Jesus Christ - God incarnate - in my spiritual journey to know God and have a relationship with him. To know Jesus is to know God and to believe in Jesus is to believe in the One who sent him, namely God.

think before you buy

It seems like ages since I last blogged, but now there is something sufficiently on my heart to share! This past week my church has had a 24/7 prayer week. I took a few hours out of my daily routine to go and pray and was struck whilst praying and waiting on God by one thing in particular: how we in the West profit from other peoples' poverty. As I read the material in the church about struggling people, young and old, from around the developing world I couldn't help but feel a sense of injustice and anger that many of the brands and labels we wear or come into contact with every day exploit their employees! Here in the West we live in a 24/7, on demand, whatever we want society. Our diets are not determined by the seasons anymore because we import many of our produce from other countries; some of which even struggle to feed themselves. We want cheap clothes, yet that requires paying people a pittance in order to make a profit from it. There are people working in sweat shops and factories in places like India where even the electricity used to light the factory and power the machines is dangerous and could cause serious injury.

As a history teacher, I was made to reflect on our own industrial past and how for many decades people worked without health and safety regulations; children were exploited for cheap labour, many of whom died. We would no longer tolerate those types of working conditions now, yet we turn a blind eye to it in other parts of the world! I came to realise there is an aweful amount of hypocrisy in our society. So what is the solution? Playing ignorant to the plight and suffering around the world, which we directly benefit from is not an option. It is unacceptable. Yes there are innitiatives such as 'fair trade', which gives farmers and workers a fair price and wage for their work. This should be a basic human right of everyone. But it is only the beginning. Greed is at the heart of the problem. It is the greed of corporations and businesses that charge high prices yet pay unacceptably low wages. Greed is not only a poison, which can infect the human heart, but it is also called idolatry in the Bible. So who do you serve? As Jesus taught, no one can serve two masters; so who do you serve? The most High God and His Son Jesus? Or money and our own greedy desire for an afluent, comfortable existence?

So next time you're in the supermarket or in your favourite clothes shop, just bear in mind will your choices deny others of their rights to a decent wage and living standard? Now I am no saint, and I am no martyr either; these are matters of consciousness that I am still grappling with myself. I feel strongly that it is right to support charities in the work they do to supporting the vulnerable of this world, as well as buying fair trade, but perhaps more needs to be done. Perhaps it is time for us to become more politically active in reaching out to our government to try and make positive changes in the wider international community? Seek God, listen to your conscience and do what is right to prevent injustice and exploitation.

I will be light

As I walk this spiritual path, illuminated by the light of the Gospel, I have become far more conscious about our personal ministry we have as witnesses to our non-Christian colleagues, family and friends. I remember when I first felt called by God to serve him as a teenager; my perception of ministry was that it was something you needed qualifications for, and something you got paid for, even if it wasn’t very much! The curate of my church at the time tried to explain to me that I already had a ministry to my non-Christian friends at school, and even though I thought I had understood him, upon reflection I can see that only now am I beginning to realise the reality of that truth.

Naturally when I was younger I was more naïve to the ways of God and the calling each Christian is given as His witnesses on the earth. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how many times you read Scripture, it just doesn’t fully sink in. Yet just recently I have really been burdened for the lost. This burden to see souls saved for the Kingdom of God has led me to such a deeper understanding and insight into my personal ministry as a witness for the Gospel. For the first time in my life I truly feel a joy regarding this ministry. My workplace is my mission field, my colleagues are the people God has given me a heart to reach and I feel genuinely privileged to be in this position.

Jesus taught:

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything…” Matthew 5:13

and:

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house." Matthew 5:15

I am to be salt and light in this world. I am to reflect the light of Christ in my life and act as a moral preservative in this spiritually decaying world. The world is in a state of decay: morally and spiritually. There is a moral vacuum left by our secular humanism in this country, which is causing spiritual atrophy and decay. Yet God has called each of His children to be His faithful servants to stem the haemorrhaging that is causing society to bleed to death. In order to do this we need to be connected to God. In order to be salt and light, without fading or losing our preserving power we need to stay connected to God through His Spirit, meditation on His Word and through prayer.

Again Jesus says:

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit…” John 15:5

I have also come to realise how vitally important prayer is. I have never considered myself an intercessor before. Nor have I always been consistent in my prayer life. Too often good intentions have fallen by the way side and my enthusiasm and energy for prayer has waned. Yet I have come to view prayer as a joy; I am glad to pray, because I know that with God nothing is impossible. I know that when I lack wisdom, courage or strength in my witness that God will provide. I have peace of mind that although I may not, by myself, have the power or the means to save anyone, God does! Paul explains in Philippians 4:4-6:

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

I do not have to shoulder the responsibility of salvation; I could not possibly carry that burden. God knows this. I just have to be faithful in the task God has given me – to be a witness; a shining light in this world.

Therefore I want to encourage you, if you are a Christian, to rejoice in prayer for the lost, to witness enthusiastically with the wisdom and courage God provides through His Holy Spirit and to seek first God’s Kingdom. As the Jewish musician Matisyahu sings in the title track to his album ‘Light’:

“We have one tiny moment in time for life to shine, to shine, to burn away the darkness, only one tiny moment in time… so I will be light.”

How will you choose to live your life? Will you take up the call to be salt and light, to be an intercessor for this world; for your workplace, family or friends? Or will you coast through life, your spiritual edge blunted by society, your salt lost and your faith dull, tepid and lukewarm? It is a joy and privilege to witness to the Kingdom of God and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is our calling, which every Christian has been given. Most importantly it is real. Do you believe that? Do you believe God can use you to make a difference to our society? Have you faith in the God who is greater than the problem? Do not lose hope.

A burden for Mankind

My spirit was greatly troubled last night when I got home from helping out with the youth work I am involved in. Two things primarily perturbed me: firstly - misconstruing the nature of 'domestic' work and secondly, the prevailing attitude that 'real' men cannot be sensitive and caring. I had decided to help with the washing up as there was a lot of toast being made for the young people and they were running out of clean plates. As I stood there, behind the sink, washing up one of the young girls (who had just moved up to secondary school) exclaimed I was washing up "like a woman"; to which I asked, jokingly, whether she meant washing up was a woman's job or that I washed up like a woman? Her reply struck me - that her perception of washing up was that it was a woman's job! I must admit I was mildly saddened by this response, to which some of my colleagues picked up on this and it became a running joke throughout the evening that I was acting like a 'woman'.

The second incident surrounds a young boy, only 10 years old, who enjoys playing violent computer games and watching violent films, whose age rating is much too old for him. He told me he was looking forward to going home and playing one of his particularly violent games before bed, to which I responded sarcastically that it might give him nightmares. This started a conversation about how he had played this game many times before bed before and it had not given him nightmares. Once again I sarcastically, albeit subtlely, suggested that it would give me nightmares. I was not surprised that he failed to recognise my sarcasm, however, he turned to me and said that I must be a 'wuss' as I was much older than he was. This idea jarred with me, because unbeknown to him, he had exhibited the prevelant attitude amongst society that 'manliness' is intrinsically linked to being 'hard' and unfeeling; that it is in someway unbecoming to a man to show sensitivity and to recoil at violence.

So I left with a troubled heart. I left with a sense of sadness of the lack of parental supervision over this young boy, so impressionable and in many ways so vulnerable to dangerous influences. I was also distressed and to a degree angry that my act of servitude had been mocked as women's work. I was not angry because I wanted recognition, but angry because I had wanted to follow in my Saviour's example and be a good role model to these young people. Yet I was left with uncertainty as to whether that message had come across.

On the night of the Last Supper, as Jesus ate the Passover meal with His disciples before His death, he taught them as he washed their feet:

"I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them." - John 13:15-17

Again Jesus taught as His two disciples James and John requested they be allowed to sit one to the right and one to the left of Him in Heaven:

"Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 1043-45

This world is consumed in darkness. Statistically one in four women will suffer domestic violence and reportedly one incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute! On average two women are killed each week from current or former male partners (statistics from womensaid.org.uk) The ubiquity of Pornography is sickening, and grows at a seemingly exponental rate - as of 2003 there were 1.3 million pornographic websites on the internet and the total revenue for the porn industry in 2006 world wide was $97 billion. Crime rates have soared over the last few decades with only 4 reports out of 1000 of violent crimes in 1951 to 55 out of a 1000 in 2000. The number of men over women being found guilty of crimes is also much higher with 17.1 compared to 3.8 (statistics from statistics.gov.uk/crime). It is also true that girls do better than boys academically in this country. I do not have the time or scope in this blog to conduct a full analysis of these statistics, but at a glance the implications are clear: there is a moral vacuum in this society, which is destroying men from within, whether it is sexual addiction, which objectifies women and degrades them, or violent tendencies that result in domestic abuse and an increase in the crime rate. These deplorable influences are hindering men from creating deep, caring , loving relationships and are callousing our hearts.

Young boys need examples of godly men, men after God's own heart, like King David and most importantly Jesus. It may seem cliched to say the world needs Jesus, but it truly does and I fear for my own sex in particular, that the world with all its demonic influences is corroding our minds and souls like poison! I want to live a life of integrity and faith. To show people, no matter how much I am mocked for it, that there is a truer path, a way of light and of peace for the spirit; that being a caring, compassionate and giving person is not unmanly but rather the better way... for everyone! I want people to recognise the example of Jesus in creating a more caring, selfless and loving society. I truly believe this with all my heart.

Turning vision into reality

Coming off of the back of the Frinton Mission I really felt the desire to continue using whatever gifts God has given me for His glory! Not only have I become involved with the youth work at my Church but I also began to write lyrics in worship to God. I really felt the power of praise and song during the Mission and I decided I wanted to turn my hand to writing lyrics. After giving this desire over to God and asking Him to bless it I found lyrics just flowing from my mind as I typed at my PC. After I had several lyrics written I found myself feeling dissatisfied that they may potentially be left saved in a word document on my computer. So I text a couple of friends who led worship and asked if they would like to meet up and take a look at my lyrics. This was the start.

Soon I believe God gave me a vision for where this process could lead: suddenly from these humble lyrics I was envisioning the entire worship band at Church collaborating on the music to create something special - something that could be sung on a Sunday evening at our contemporary service but also something that could transcend the Church itself. Then I was contacted by a member of the worship band; he wanted to read my lyrics. I met with him and showed him the lyrics. We shared our hopes and dreams regarding the creative direction of the Church and after feeling that we shared a common vision, prayed God's blessing and direction over it. I left the lyrics with him so that he could put some demos together.

This process has only just begun but I am so excited and animated within my spirit to think about how mightily for His Kingdom God could use this music. The goal is to create a creative forum whereby music and lyrics can be shared and collaborated upon with the intention of using in our evening services. To write and play our own music, with God's vision for us as a Church is what we seek to do. Then only God knows where it may lead, but if successful we want to share this music with others.

I have been meditating upon two things recently:
1. Worship is a lifestyle, not a genre
2. God is the visionary, we just have to catch a glimpse of the vision

For with God nothing is impossible and I want to continue to dream big that big things may come of them!

No ordinary life!

I have just completed my very first Frinton Mission - 8 days of intensive youth ministry: it was a fantastic experience! Over the week God moved in some truly amazing ways: in my team, our teenagers, as well as the older group too. There have been young people coming to faith, baptisms, the giving and receiving of spiritual gifts, healings and deliverance! I was blessed to work with some awesome people, many of whom are uni undergraduates, people who love life and have such tremendous love for our Saviour God!

I felt my own faith and spirit refreshed over the course of the week as we held workshops, talent contests and dramas with the young people of our age group as well as sharing with them the message of the Gospel. It was an exhilerating feeling and a privilege to share in God's Kingdom work in Frinton. The chemistry and friendship of our leadership team was excellent and I've made many new friends as well as sharing in some powerful spiritual experiences: of intimate worship of God, of praise and meditation upon His grace, love, mercy and awesome wonder.

In many ways I am sad the week had to end but I have come away with so many great memories and a real sense of challenge to take the good news into my work place, my family and with my friends. I don't want to lose the passion I have had during the mission and will pray that over the next year, I remain true to my faith, my witness and my evangelism. I also feel that this mission has opened a door into further youth work in the future. I am excited in a way I never was before to work with these young people, to show them the saving power and grace of God and show them the love of Christ.

This is no ordinary life...Hallalujah that the life lived for Jesus is truly extraordinary. There is no going back!

Reflections on my first year in teaching

Well my NQT year, my first full year in teaching, is finally over! It has been a year of failure and successes, thankfully not quite in equal measure I am happy to say. Yet it has been a year of intense professional, as well as in many ways personal, growth and challenge. I have been humbled on more than one occassion and have risen like a phoenix on more than one occassion also. From having to re-evaluate how I organise my time and the way I teach particular areas of our syllbus, to learning how to cope with criticism and respond positively to it. This year has not been exactly easy; but it has been character developing.

I have learnt, sometimes the hard way, that in order to teach at the highest level expected of me that it will take years of experience and reflection on myself. However, I end the year on a very positive note: with the work done collaboratively in our department to rework our schemes of work and the criteria for our assessments in line with the new national curriculum for Key Stage 3 I am very excited about rolling out our new KS3 portfollios with the new year 7s in September. I am also looking forward to being a part of redesigning and decorating our department displays outside our classrooms as well. Working at TTC it is truly an innovative and creative department and professional environment; one I am very thankful and proud to be a part of. I have modestly given to my department and contributed to the aforementioned changes but next year I want to be an even more effective member of the team. I have also been grateful for the times and occassions I have spent socially with my colleagues, getting to know them and being able to share my faith with them.

As far as my personal life goes, this year has taught me that I need to trust in God even with the little things. Whilst I have faultered from time to time, generally speaking, the challenge of this year has brought me closer to God with the recognition that it is in His strength and not my own in which I will accomplish all things. I have sought to walk closer with my God because only He knows the end from the beginning. When there seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel I had to trust in God that He would guide me through the difficult times and I rejoice that He never left me in the midst of my uncertainties! Positively, joining my new church at Frinton has been very beneficial to my faith, having the stability of that spiritual environment and atmosphere as well as the fellowship of my house group.

So here I sit, typing at my PC with a sense of excitment and hope in the year ahead, going into my second year of teaching. I am looking forward to relaxing and recharging my batteries during the holiday and hope to make the fullest use of my free time. I know I must temper any sense of expectancy with realism because hopes can be dashed and dreams unfulfilled. My second year will still be very hard and badly behaved classes bring all sorts of difficulties and challenges to your work, but nevertheless I don't want to lose that energy and enthusiasm to want to improve myself professionally and do my very best next year to remain positive.

As far as my personal life goes I must continue to trust and hope in God too. Whether I am still single this time next year I cannot say, only God knows that. As of now I can't see myself finding anyone soon, despite my good intentions and openness to initiate friendships. I will also have to make some decisions regarding how I spend my free time and my hobbies. For the last couple of months I have wanted to take up Ju-Jitsu, which I know is a martial art and therefore not the typical past time of a Christian. I have really enjoyed and appreciated going to the gym and keeping fit and growing stonger and feel that it would be good to channel some of that new energy into another sporting pursuit. Martial arts, like going to the gym, suit my current lifestyle as I can do them without needing a training partner. Moreover, with the grappling elements to Ju-Jitsu it is also the closest thing to wrestling, which I still enjoy watching from time to time. Conversely, I am still not decided whether I will actually take it up or not. Ultimately my faith and spirituality must come before secular past times. I have sought to get a balance in my life this year, keeping a healthy body, mind and spirit. But I do not want to turn that desire and pursuit into compartmentalising my life and faith into boxes. God deserves all of me and I do not want to neglect my faith if I cannot maintain that balance by going to Ju-Jitsu. So it will take further consideration.

Taking everything into consideration and wishing to remain positive about the year ahead I think of the Impending Doom lyrics: "How do I find what I seek? Where does your glory and I meet? This is where I begin!"

Mortification: 20 years in the underground

2010 celebrates 20 years of quite an extraordinary band: Mortification. Mortification came to prominence in both Christian and secular metal scenes in the early '90s with their first few death metal albums, most notably their seminal sophomore album 'Scrolls of the Megiloth'. The beast which is Mortification was birthed in 1990 by bassist/vocalist Steve Rowe after his previous band Light Force disbanded. Not content to let his musical creativity fade away, Steve reformed the band. But it soon became clear by pursuing a much heavier direction that this was a completely different animal and thus a new name was necessary. Mortification was the epitome of all that the band stood for both lyrically and musically as an extreme Christian metal band. The band's third album, and my personal favourite to date, 'Post Momentary Affliction' saw the band progress into more experimental realms of metal, whilst still retaining their death metal roots. Post Momentary Affliction provided a watershed that saw the band embark on a musical journey, never remaining content to reproduce the same album twice. Evolution has been an integral part of Mortification ever since.

The band's longevity is remarkable, especially when the personal circumstances surrounding the founding member (and only original member left) Steve Rowe. Steve suffered from two bouts of particularly aggressive cancer in the mid '90s, both occassions proving potentially fatal, which has since left him as a partial paraplegic. Yet miraculously God protected him and despite his disability has continued to write and play new music. Conversely despite overcoming ill health Mortification have spent the best part of their 20 year long career as an independent, underground band. Sadly for the band after their contract expired with influential metal record label Nuclear Blast after their fourth album 'Blood World' they were never able to resign to another label with quite the same exposure. Financial limitations notwithstanding, as well as numerous line up changes, Steve perservered and Mortitication survived. For the last 10 years the band has enjoyed more stability through the inclusion of and talent of lead guitarist Mick Jelinic.

Since Mortification's last full length album was released in 2009, Steve has been concentrating his creative energy into a Christian Rock band he has formed with former Mortification guitarist Lincoln Bowen called WonRowe Vision. WonRowe Vision are set to release their debut album later this year and Steve has expressed his desire to keep Mortification an exclusively extreme metal band, returning to the band's old skool death metal roots. This will be enthusiastically welcomed, no doubt, by many long time Mortification fans and indeed I myself am very happy about Steve's decision regarding the artistic and musical direction of Mortification's future releases.

As Steve's musical and creative energy seems to know no end, I am positive Mortification will continue to make music for several years to come, refusing to become extinct like so many other bands before them. Mortification's legacy to Christian metal is unquestionable. Steve Rowe's convictions and his dedication to playing Christ centred extreme music has been unwavering for the past 20 years and the eminence and popularity that Christian metal now enjoys as one of the largest growing sub-genres of metal is in no small terms influenced by Mortification, especially of the impact of their early death metal albums. Many a lesser band would have succumbed to the harsh world of the music industry and disbanded long before reaching such a monumental milestone as 20 years. This is what makes Mortification such an intriguing and genuinely sincere musical experience. As a Christian Mortification's music has been both inspirational and motivational in my walk of faith. It is a band I am positively grateful for.

For more information about Mortification visit http://www.roweproductions.com/
To buy Mortification music legitimately from their official webstore visit http://www.soundmass.com/

world cup woes

In my mind I had dreams of being able to write a blog celebrating the success (even relative success) of the England team in this year's world cup from South Africa. Sadly, reality has dictated that now I am writing about a premature exit to what was a very disappointing campaign.

From a frustratingly mediocre start to a pitifully souless exit, the England team have ripped out the hearts of their fans and shattered the hopes and dreams of a nation. A proud footballing nation. A nation who boasts one of the, if not the best football league in the world. Well done lads! The prospects of getting to a respectful place in the world cup always looked bleak after barely managing to qualify from the group stages, but nevertheless losing to Germany is the most bitter pill to swallow. Where was the heart, the passion, the desire? It's a criticism that's been levelled at our top footballers for a long time that they are overpaid and prima donnas but in some respects I think its been proven to be true in South Africa. I understand sport envokes very strong emotions in people and players alike, sometimes positive and unfortunately sometimes negatively too, but as professionals who do this for a living you would expect them to be able to control those emotions and play regardless of despondancy or frustration. But England played without any real fire or soul today and if playing against your arch rivals in a knock out game is not incentive enough then nothing will be. Simple. The squad Fabio Capello chose are not good enough to play for their country, whatever success they have had at club level.

This is the most frustrating and sad thing is that once again the loyal and passionate fans suffer. We have been let down by a side who looked as if they'd never played football before, who were too easily intimidated and had no self belief in their ability. Capello must go. There is no way he can justify his position as manager as his tactics were proven to come far short of what was needed to defeat even the most humble of world cup sides. '66? We should start forgetting about those glory days because they are very far from the present reality, and look very far from future realities at the moment also. Obviously it is hard to predict how the next generation of international footballers will fair in the three lions shirt, but seeming as it's been over forty years since we won the world cup last I don't hold out much hope.

Rooney was a non-entity in this campaign, he might as well have been left at home. John Terry looked a million miles away for the majority of the tournament from being the world class defender that captained Chelsea to Premier League glory and many other of Fabio's selection were dubious. It was pathetic.


And thus concludes another world cup England performance and hopefully this will be the curtain call for the veterans of our squad. Their time is past and they need to pass on the torch because there is no way we can win another international tournament with them at the helm.

So attention turns back to domestic football and the new Premier League season in August. I much prefer club football as more often than not it's where these players potentials are realised and besides Arsenal have a far better chance of winning the League than England winning the World Cup! We love you Arsenal, we do!!!

The purpose of humanity

Firstly, I apologise if this blog doesn't read as coherently as some of my others, I have been meditating and reflecting recently upon the meaning and purpose of humanity. I have recently read two very stimulating and spiritually and intellectually invigorating books by Antony Flew and Francis Collins. Both discuss the various classical philosophical arguments for the existence of God, as well as the implications of modern scientific discoveries and developments to the question of the existence of God. This blog, and my thoughts in it, are very much in an embryonic form (in a philosophical sense).

As I read and assimilated the information and arguments it struck me that the most important question in life is the existence of God. If God exists and has created the universe and all life within it, then naturally...and I would say logically, learning about this Creator God would be the most pressing concern of all humanity. To dismiss this question is to dismiss the potential purpose of all humankind. It is to dismiss the objective meaning to our lives. Some people seek the answer to this question and do not find God. Conversely, I believe it is a question that cannot be ignored. The implications are too great.

If one finds that God exists then logically the quest and search for which God or what type of God this divine essence and superior mind is follows. Richard Swindburne, Professor of the Philosophy of the Christian Religion at the University of Oxford states in his book 'The Existence of God' about the plausibility of the existence of God:

"Furthermore, if some actual or postulated entity other than God is to provide a complete (or ultimate) explanation...it needs to have added to it (in the case of a person) specific powers, beliefs, and intentions, or (in the case of inanimate substance) specific powers and liabilities to exercise them. We need both the 'what' causes, and the 'why' it causes. The advantage of theism is that the mere existence of God provides most of that extra 'why'."

What Swinburne is saying is that the hypothesis that God exists explains why the universe exists not just how it came to exist. All other current scientific theories to explain the origin of life (multi-universes etc) have failed to justify how these other causes are a simpler explanation than God. When evaluating the plausibility of the existence or non-existence of God the simpler the hypothesis, the more plausible it is. God is a simpler answer than the current scientific speculation by the very virtue of His nature: because He is God and therefore Spirit He is eternal and infinite, requiring no beginning and no primary cause. As God He is an agent, who acts intentionally not coincidentally or accidently; but purposefully. Thus the existence of the universe and the origin of life are not arbitrary or accidental but deliberate and purposeful. How can consciousness come from unconsciousness? Nothing creates nothing. We are sentient beings thus an intelligent designer is a far more plausible and simpler explantion for the origin of life.

Given therefore that the plausibility of there being a creator God is extremely high, it follows that knowing God has to be the next most pressing concern. Knowing this God is the ultimate purpose of life. Once we have discovered, by way of deductive and inductive reasoning and Revelation who this God is then pursuing a life in connection to and communication with God is the ultimate meaning of life. That is the conclusion I have come to in my recent studies and meditations. It is this purpose and meaning to my life that I will endeavour to pursue and grow in. Life is a journey. That journey can be physical and literal, emotional, intellectual or spiritual. I believe that the journey of faith and of the discovery in the character and nature of God is a neverceasing pursuit. To be close to God, to walk in His presence and to connect with His divinity is ongoing. I hope that I never stand still in this journey. To be a godly person is the highest calling of humanity.

I hope to further consolidate, assimilate and learn the deeper truths and spiritual revelations of this journey of faith and the goal of achieving the ultimate meaning to life as time goes by. Maybe in the future I will write with some further meditations and thoughts, which hopefully by then will have germinated and grown into a more fully developed worldview and personal philosophy.

book review: There is a God

I thought I would do something different for this blog, instead of my usual musings and reflections on the current state of affairs in my life. I have recently finished a very insightful and fascinating book by a world renowned former atheist Antony Flew.

For those of you unfamiliar with Antony Flew he was an academic philosopher and professor at various universities including Oxford, Aberdeen, Keele and Reading. He wrote several academic theses and books including, arguably his most famous, 'God and Philosophy'. Flew became an atheist at age 15, while still at school and later went on to study at Oxford. However, after a lifetime of triumphing atheism he renounced his atheism in favour of theism.

In his book 'There is a God' Flew narrates his journey from atheism to theism. As a young boy his father took them on holiday to Germany where he witnessed first hand the cruelty of the Nazi regime. In the face of such evil Flew became disillusioned with the concept of God. In his book Flew admits that even as an atheist in his adult life he came to realise he had become an atheist for the wrong reasons but by then his academic study had strengthed his convictions so fervently that he knew despite the means he arrived at it, atheism was correct. Throughout his book Flew speaks plainly and openly about the integrity of the intellectual and academic principles he lived his life by; namely the Socratic principle to follow the argument wherever it leads. This principle shaped and reshaped many of his atheist beliefs and eventually led him to theism. Reading his journey of transformation I was struck by his honesty and how highly he spoke of the theist philosophers whom challenged his atheism through critques of his work or public academic debates. He speaks very highly of people such as CS Lewis, William Lane Craig, David Conway & Richard Swinburne.

Essentially, as Flew explains, he came to the conclusion that theism is a better explanation for the existence of the universe through the break throughs and groundbreaking new discoveries made in science: the evidence in support of the Big Bang, DNA & RNA sequencing, the laws of nature and the fine tuning argument. As Flew considered this new scientific data about human genes and genetic coding, as well as the properties of the universe, he reached a very theological conclusion based on a reconsideration of classical philosophical arguments for the existence of God such as the argument for design and the cosmological argument. Having followed the Socratic principle to always pursue the argument wherever the evidence led he finally came to believe that atheism could not sufficiently explain the origins of life.

In the second part of his book, where he details his journey to belief and acceptance in theism, Flew gives a wonderful overview of the insights and beliefs of Einstein. He explains how often Einstein is popularly portrayed as an atheist but conversely the opposite was true. Whilst it is true that Einstein did not believe in a personal God, such as has revealed himself to the Abrahamic faiths he nevertheless believed in a transcendent, "superior mind" who had created the universe and was beyond all comprehension. Flew is also critical of some of the more famous modern atheists such as Richard Dawkins for his conclusions and condemnation of theism.

Although at the time of writing Flew did not adhere to any of the major monotheistic religions he concludes his book by saying:

"Where do I go from here? In the first place, I am entirely open to learning more about the divine Reality...second, the question of whether the Divine has revealed itself to human nature remains a valid topic of discussion. You cannot limit the possibilities of omnipotence except to produce the logically impossible."

Despite his faith coming purely from reason, now having come to a faith in an intelligent, creator God Flew cannot deny the possibility that this same being could reveal himself to humanity. I find this conclusion to be incredibly profound, as I have said before to my friends that if God exists you cannot rule out the possibility of His communicating with humanity. To say otherwise would be to try and limit God and in Flew's words "produce the logically impossible". Moreover, Flew concedes:

"As I have said more than once, no other religion enjoys anything like the combination of a charismatic figure like Jesus and a first-class intellectual like St Paul. If you're wanting omnipotence to set up a religion, it seems to me this is the one to beat!"

Whilst not (at the time of writing) a Christian, Flew could see that Christianity is the most likely of all the major monotheistic religions to be true. This is high praise indeed from a former atheist.

While some of the academic language Flew uses in his discussion and summary of the major philosophical and scientific work that led him to theism was slightly over my head, not being as familiar as he with the academic debates, this was a thoroughly fascinating and rewarding read. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is prepared to tackle these issues and topics. Flew speaks honestly and frankly about his journey as well as offering many accessible analogies for the lay readers such as myself. As a Christian my faith was reinforced by the power and persuasion of the classical philosophical arguments for the existence of God as well as how modern science is producing many new theists.

Straight Edge

I have chosen to identify myself as a straight edge Christian. What does that mean? Well firstly for any Christians who are unfamiliar with straight edge reading this I have not joined some cult, neither does my identifying myself with straight edge mean I am committing idolatry in some way or shape.

Straight Edge is a lifestyle that I have come to respect and as it closely parallels my own in so many ways I have taken the easy step in associating myself with it. Straight Edge is a drug, alcohol and cigarette free lifestyle. The lifestyle originally started in the early 1980s hardcore music scene in America. Young people with a passion for heavy music began to see the folly in the licentious, decadent and hedonistic drug and alcohol fuelled lifestyle of the hardcore music scene and decided to make a stand. They chose, as the symbol of their new lifestyle, the black X, which they wore upon their hands. This symbol was an ironic inversion of the mark used to stamp people too young to buy alcohol in America.

Over the decades of the late 20th century Straight Edge for some has also come to involve abstaining from casual sex and vegetarianism. This is not a requisite for all straight edge followers but many whilst having pre-marital sex only do so within a committed relationship between two straight edgers whereby the emphasis is on love.

Like many subcultures Straight Edge has spread to other spheres and not just its association with the hardcore music scene. For example one prominent straight edge figure currently is the WWE wrestler CM Punk, who professes a straight edge lifestyle and is currently the leader of a wrestling faction called the straight edge society, where he frequently evangelises to the audience.

Although many of the values professed within Straight Edge are akin to those found in many religions Straight Edge itself is not a religious movement. Adherents to the straight edge lifestyle do not need to be religious and in fact many straight edgers are against religion, taking a rather Marxist line that religion acts like a drug to its followers as the - "the opium of the masses". Again, however, this aspect of straight edge is personal to the individual and not a requisite of the lifestyle.

However, as a Christian metalhead I have seen and respected the many similarities I have with the straight edge lifestyle and despite the grievances that some straight edgers may have, in wishing straight edge to remain an entirely secular affair I believe it is not incompatible with my faith. The fact that this movement has so many Christian like values in it is something to be commended. The fact that many young people today follow a straight edge lifestyle of their own free will and volition and not because of any religious upbringing is to be admired and respected. That is why I see no conflict in being a Christian and choosing to associate yourself with Straight Edge.

Obviously, my admiration and respect for the straight edge lifestyle should in no way come before my faith in God, but as a Christian whose own values so closely mirror those of the straight edge lifestyle I don't see that will be the case. On the other hand there is one potential vice/sin that all straight edgers are vulnerable to and that is pride. I must make sure that I never become prideful for choosing a clean lifestyle. It is not a sin to drink alcohol or even smoke. I must never confuse the values of the two. I do not condemn any Christian or secular person for drinking or smoking, however I believe it is healthier not to. This is a personal decision I have made for my life.

pretty soon I don't know what but something is going to happen

Well this weekend has been if anything eventful to a point. On friday evening I cut one of my knuckles quite badly whilst washing up! I went to the minor injuries unit at my local hospital and it was checked for glass and then bandaged up. It seemed to be the way of things in my life at the moment. Recently I have been feeling much more positive about my current circumstances - meeting regularly with my new church group and reading my Bible on a daily basis definitely helped. However it's amazing how the little things in life ebb away at you. For example two of my favourite past times at the moment have been quite frustrating: Arsenal need to at least draw (though preferrably win) their final game of the season to secure third place. The last month has been incredibly disappointing for Arsenal as we've drawn once and lost four times in our last 5 games! Secondly I have been frustrated by the lacklustre performances and sub-par booking of TNA wrestling just recently too. The company could be huge but instead are wasting their talent and countless opportunities to make a big impression on the wrestling landscape. Minor points in one's life of course but coupled with other little things make for very exasperating times.

I have been coping with work much better the last few weeks. This has come in large part because of a decision I made regarding my future in teaching as well as disciplining myself to work between my gym commitments. I have really enjoyed going to the gym this past month or so. Not only do I feel fitter and stronger but it is a channel to release tension and frustration built up by the stress of my job and/or life. Unfortunately due to my injury on my knuckle I cannot go to the gym for at least a week as I am unable to grip anything properly with my right hand. The cut is terribly inconvenient both to my work and extra-curricular activities. It is amazing how much we take for granted when fully able. If nothing else this experience has given me more humility regarding my dexterity and full use of my hands.

This morning at church we had a sermon on God's provision and how God provides. The passage was from Philippians chapter 4, an account from Paul of his gratitude to the Philippians' generosity and gifts to him as well as his 'contentment' in the various circumstances he finds his life in. It was a very apt and relevant message for myself who sometimes does struggle with 'the cards I've been dealt with' to borrow a phrase from another sermon series from my church. Paul discovered how to be content in life through his faith in the power of Jesus Christ and the provision of God. This week as I have to learn to cope with going about my daily life with my right hand bandaged up, not being able to actively carry out my extra-curricular activities and living with my current circumstances: I must put my faith in my provider above; the Most High. God has graciously been sustaining me throughout my career thus far, despite the many hard times, steep learning curves, disappointments and personal & emotional difficulties I have gone through. I have not always asked for this life but I trust my God that He will supply everything I need.

God doesn't treat us like spoilt children who only have to cynically and manipulatively throw a tantrum and get what they want. God disciplines His children; those He loves. This past week I have been meditating on a couple of passages from scripture: "seek first the Kingdom of God and all shall be added unto you" and "lean not on your own understanding but trust in God". God does provide but we must learn to first place our trust in Him to do what is best by us as well as to put our lives into the appropriate perspective and context of His Kingdom, which is bigger than any single individual. My prayer and meditation this week is that I shall learn to be content with what I have and where I am in my life currently.

As for my relationships; it has been a year since I broke up with my ex fiancee. There are days when I feel being single is the best thing for me at the moment and other days when I long for a companion to love and be loved by. I continually give this over to God and continue to believe "God works for the good of all those who love Him." Whether it is His will I marry or find someone soon I cannot say. All I can do is trust that if it is in His will I have to be patient for that person will be worth waiting for.

Pretty soon, I don't know what, but something is going to happen...

Not denying who you are

Since my break up I have had a lot more freedom to express myself and appreciate what I enjoy. I have rediscovered a passion for sport, particularly football and wrestling. I had not followed either for several years during my latter teens and into my early twenties. But having been left alone and free to follow my own devices I have gravitated back towards the two sports that I enjoyed in my childhood and early teens. This has partly come as a response to the frustration I felt at being single again. There was also a brief period of insecurity when my passion for heavy music (metal) waned as I struggled with who I was caught up in the hurt and rejection of the break up. However such a deep rooted passion, indeed part of me could not be suppressed for long and I have been enjoying my first love of music as enthusiastically as before. A love which defines a large part of who I am.

The point of this blog and the subsequent pontificating is that as a Christian I want to live a godly, Christlike life, pursuing God's will and living in His grace whilst being comfortable and at peace with who I am, or rather more specifically my interests. I don't really know why I am inclined to enjoy heavy music and wrestling. They may seem odd choices of past times for a Christian but I believe as long as they do not take over my life and become idolatrous they are not incompatible with the Christian walk of faith. God put on my heart a few years ago a real conviction to give up secular music. Since then I have only listened to Christian metal bands. Some Christians may find the concept of Christian metal oxymoronic and at conflict with Christianity but I do not believe so. In fact these bands have been true blessings to me as a listener of metal in all its forms. I thank God that there is a bountiful alternative of Christian metal bands out there. They truly are a light in a culture of darkness.

However the realm of sport is a completely secular affair. I have really enjoyed following my childhood football team Arsenal again. Going along to the Emirates in North London and watching them live has been a fantastic experience this year, one which I have savoured and truly appreciated, especially with the money I am earning to afford it. Yet the more controversial issue is with my appreciation of wrestling. I have recently discovered and formed a strong appreciation for Ring of Honor, an American wrestling company. This company excells at technical, high risk, intense wrestling and although it would be considered a contact sport (despite its choreography) my appreciation stems not from a love of violence or pain but for the fortitude and discipline of these athletes. The training, practice and stamina that is required to wrestle professionally is incredible. The fact that they are risking their bodies hightens the sense of respect I have for these men and their dedication to the sport. It is also an aspect, much like my passion for metal, of my masculinity.

Masculinity is not always a term conceived of when Christianity is mentioned. The two are not always synonymous with one another. Many both inside and outside of the Church see Christianity as having a predominantly feminine influence. The ratio of men to women in many Churches across the country is disproportionately female. Yet despite this alarming trend of imbalance Christianity is not incompatible with being masculine. Our saviour was a man who was prepared to suffer and die for humanity. The courage, conviction and bravery required to do that is truly amazing and worthy of respect. His closest disciples too, the founders of the early Church, were also prepared to suffer martyrdom for their faith. Sometimes there is a theological imbalance in the Church's teaching on the love of God and not enough about His righteousness and Justice (David Pawson is an excellent theologian on such matters). Moreover the Bible speaks about the Christian life being one of spiritual warfare against evil. I am not ashamed to have masculine interests as a man. God created men and women differently and I have embraced my masculinity as a man but more importantly as a Christian.

The Bible has many teachings on how men should live and act, especially in regards to marriage and the Church I will endeavour in future to follow those teachings with the aid of God's Holy Spirit. But as long as I don't make an idol out of my interests and remember to put God first in every aspect of my life I am comfortable with how I chose to spend my free time. I believe this is very important. I want to be a man of God and I also want to be the person God created me to be. I hope that the Church does become more tolerant of non-traditional Christian past times. Conversely I always need to check my heart and spirit to ensure that God and His will is the first love in my life, always put God's Word and worship of Him over and above my other interests and be careful not to sin against Him. Through prayer and obedience to my Heavenly Father I believe I will accomplish this balance.

Censorship versus Freedom of Speech

With an election imminent here in the UK, I could have posted a blog about the importance of voting and using our democratic rights, however, I have chosen this morning to write about something far more insidious to our society - the abuse of the right to freedom of speech in this country.

I was appalled to learn that at the two most prestigious and historic universities in England: Oxford and Cambridge, that Islamic extremists have been allowed either to spout their anti-Semitic and hateful racism towards the state of Israel or disrupt and heckle Israeli speakers.

"Last month at Cambridge University, one of the two most prestigious
universities in England, Hamas activist, Azim Tamimi, an outspoken supporter of
terrorist activity, gave a highly inflammable lecture blasting Israel and her
existence in the Middle East, while students quietly took notes.
Last month
at Oxford University, second of the two most prestigious universities in
England, Israel’s Deputy Foreign Minister Danny Ayalon began his lecture on
Israel’s narrative of the Middle East but was constantly interrupted and shouted
down with anti-Semitic remarks throughout his speech.
During the event hosted
by Oxford’s student body, Muslim hecklers continually disrupted Ayalon and one
protester screamed “Itbah al-Yahud” – “Kill the Jews” as college guards gently
moved him towards the exit after giving him time to say everything he had to say
- to much applause. The auditorium was stacked with pro-Palestinian protesters
who were determined that Ayalon not be heard."

(taken from maozisrael.org)

When does freedom of speech cross the line? When does it infringe upon our democratic right? When does censorship become necessary? Censorship is the act of deleting information that would be construed as offensive or threatening to the security of the sovereignty of a nation. The fact that known Palastinian terrorist sympathisers could be given a platform at one of the most influential and highly acclaimed universities in England to voice his outwardly anti-semitic and racist views is disheartening and outrageous. There are no democractic Islamic states in the world. All Islamic countries are totalitarian, yet fundamentalist and extremist muslims are allowed to abuse the right to freedom of speech in Western democractic nations such as America and the UK! This is a flagrant infringement upon our civil liberties and an abuse and exploitation of a democratic system.

Instead of protecting freedom of speech, the Oxbridge universities have passively condoned anti-semitic and pro-Palastinian/extremist Islamic views. This is unacceptable. We must defend freedom of speech within its proper civil and democratic framework, not allow this blatant abuse and exploitation. Representatives from Israel or Israelis should be allowed to have their voice heard in this country without the abuse and racism from the extremist Islamic community. I encourage everyone to not be deceived by the anti-Semitic and anti-Israel propaganda that whether through seruptitious means or means more open and brash have taken a stranglehold within some of the most prominent academic arenas of debate.

inter-faith dialogues

I had a very interesting conversation at work earlier today with a colleague who is currently exploring Buddhism. She told me how she had begun to meditate and put into practice some of the Buddhist principles she has been recently learning about through Buddhist classes she has been attending. I found it very intriguing as I listened to her explain the process of meditation - the emptying of the mind, concentrating on her breathing and then focussing on the self and then others. How she described this particular emphasis in her meditative training struck me as being very similar, in principle, to Jesus' teaching about "love thy neighbour as thy self". I mentioned this to her, which begun a conversation comparing the two religions.

She told me that whilst she had more respect for Jesus since exploring her spiritual side through Buddhism she felt that he didn't provide the basis for actually putting his own teachings into practice. Not deterred I continued with the conversation, exploring the similarities and parallels between the two religions. She said one of the things she didn't like about Christianity was the emphasis on sin, whereas Buddhism emphasises the ability of the self to become a better person. I completely respected both her opinion and the Buddhist principle. Conversely despite our differences we were able to conduct a discourse focussing on the similarities, which I found both invigorating and encouraging. As a person of faith amidst a predominantly agnostic or atheistic department I found it refreshing to be able to discuss matters of spirituality with someone else.

One of the most interesting points of convergence in principle between the two religions was the different forms and connotations of meditation. I explained how meditation is not a completely exclusive Buddhist practice/principle and how the Bible encourages Christians to meditate on God's Word. I explained how I tried to live my life in accordance with the teachings of Scripture and meditate upon it as a guide when making particular decisions on a day to day basis; in how to act and speak. She complimented me on finding this essence of Christian spirituality and commented that she had not seen that in many other Christians. The Bible says that Christians should conduct themselves in a manner worthy of God: not in filthy joking, gossip or criticism. I emphasised how I tried to live in alignment with this focus of Christianity as best I could.

The dialogue then progressed to the issue of 'inner light'. My colleague explained how she tried to visualise the soul as light while meditating and that this had helped her. She explained how she felt all human beings had this intrinsic light within them. To this point I mentioned the fact that the Bible teaches human beings are made in God's image and so therefore our nature will intrinsically reflect a part of God's essence. I elaborated by explicating that, as a Christian, I believe that inherent goodness has been marred by sin, but nevertheless the potential is there for humans to do good.

All in all I thought it was a very positive discussion and hope and pray God will provide me with many more occassions with which to share His truth and Gospel with this colleague. I remember reading that Christianity does not teach all other religions are inherently wrong, only when they diverge from the truth revealed in Scripture. There are many principles and practices of other religions which are to be commended as Christians and this 'common ground' so to speak is an excellent point with which to share our faith to others. I think there are important lessons to be learnt in listening to people of other faiths and respecting their personal beliefs whilst taking the opportunity to give our own testimony of the power and the saving grace of the Gospel. I will be sure to post reflections upon further conversations in the future.

the human drive for perfection

Last week I asked my year 8 PSHE class to list the 10 qualities they think a good role model should have. Their answers really inspired me. Here is the list they came up with collectively as a class:

1. Selfless
2. Independent
3. Commited
4. Sense of Humour
5. Determined
6. Talented
7. Content (as in at peace with themselves)
8. Creative
9. Kind
10. Fearless (as in standing up for their convictions and not being ashamed of what they believe in)

As I reflected upon these virtues while they were discussing them it struck me that these qualities closely reflect the character and nature of Jesus. The lesson had been about Role Models and the original activity had been about choosing their top 10 role models for modern Britain. This activity had not been entirely successful and so I adapted it to get the students engaged with the qualities of a good person, a person worthy of our respect and admiration. Many started to list relatives or friends that had come through adversity and shown tremendous inner strength.

Most, if not all, of those students are non-religious and know very little about Jesus or Christianity but it amazed me how they were able to recognise these qualities as virtues deserving of emulation and great respect. The students respected fidelity (hence commitment) as well as strength of convictions. Yet many of these qualities go against a lot of the modern youth culture of adultery, fornication and selfishness that is exhibited in soaps, films and music. If you were to ask the majority of students today whether they thought Jesus was still relevant then more than likely 9/10 they would respond negatively. However, unknowingly, the qualities of a good role model they listed can be found in the person of Jesus.

Jesus was selfless. Jesus even washed his disciples feet, an act of great humility usually seen as beneath the higher classes and given to the servants to perform (John 13:5). Jesus was fully committed to serving His heavenly Father's will. Jesus never acted on his own accord but did the will of God wherever he went. In Gethsemane, the night he was betrayed and arrested, he prayed "Not my will but your's be done" (Matt 26:39). Jesus did wonderfully and fantastic creative miracles such as turning water into wine, healing the blind and the crippled as well as walking on water and calming a storm. Jesus showed compassion and kindness to all people, even the outcasted and rejected from society such as tax-collectors and lepers. He treated women equally and chose apostles from all walks of life. Jesus fed the five thousand and the four thousand on separate occassions as an act of kindness so that the people would not go hungry who had travelled great distances to see him. Finally Jesus was utterly fearless; he confronted the religious hypocrisy and duplicity in the religious leaders of his day as well as rebuking the Devil in the wilderness when he tried to tempt him to sin. Jesus always stood for justice and right.

Jesus was the perfect human being: the greatest role model humanity could ever have. His example, miracles and teachings have guided, inspired and transformed peoples' lives for centuries. There is much prejudice towards Christianity in society today, Christians whether physically or ideologically are being persecuted the world over and Jesus' name and character are denegrated and mocked by many in the media as well as constantly blasphemed every day. This is such a tragedy when one studies the life of Jesus. Still today as it was the night of his arrest he is mocked, ridiculed and false witnesses have arisen bearing false testimony about him. Yet despite all the falsehood and falacies circulating our world regarding him; the truth about Jesus lives on and no-one can take away what his sacrifice accomplished on the cross.

As Easter approaches let us think and reflect upon the person of Jesus: role model, teacher and saviour.

The pain of betrayal

I woke up this morning and immediately began reflecting (don't ask me why!?) on the pain I had been caused by my break up with my ex, obviously there is still some residual unhealed scar tissue there. I asked myself the question if I could turn back time and live the last four years again would I have done it differently, would I have avoided the pain of the heartbreak and never gone out with my ex. My initial answer was yes! Then I put my realist hat on and told myself to get over it as I couldn't change the past. I encouraged myself by convincing myself to look to the future and embrace the present. Then (I believe led by the Holy Spirit) I wondered what lesson God may have had for me in allowing the break up to happen. The Bible says "God acts for the good of all those who love Him" Romans 8:28. So I stood upon the Word of God and said in faith what was your purpose O Lord? Then I suddenly thought back to the night of Jesus' arrest. Jesus was betrayed and rejected by all 12 of his disciples on that fateful night!

I started to imagine the pain Jesus must have felt as one by one the people whom he was closest to in his life: the men he had taught and guided for three years, whom were his best friends, his adopted family even, betrayed him. Some betrayed him out of hate and scorn, some out of fear but all deserted him in his hour of need. I picked up my Bible and re-read Matthew 26. As Jesus ate and broke bread with his disciples at the last supper he knew he would soon be betrayed; he knew the falsehood and duplicity of Judas and he knew despite all of Peter's good intentions the weakness of his courage. As I read through the verses again I could feel Jesus' pain. After the supper he went into the Garden of Gethsemane to pray where he asked some of his disiciples to join him because he was filled with sadness and anguish (Matt 26:38). Jesus admitted to his followers how he was feeling and yet they could not even stay by his side to comfort and console him. So he prayed alone, with his disiciples asleep. Later Jesus was then arrested by an angry mob led by Judas. The sign of Judas' betrayal the perversion of something that should have been a pure act of love and fellowship: a kiss. How it must have broke Jesus' heart to see one whom he had trusted, confided in and whom had witnessed his many miracles betray him so callously.

As I meditated upon these passages of Scripture my own pain helped me to empathise with Jesus in a new way, I had a much more profound insight into the anguish of my Saviour on the darkest night of his life. Jesus' words began to cut my heart as he must have reasoned in disappointment and disillusionment: "Am I leading a rebellion that you have come out with clubs and swords to capture me? Everyday I sat in the temple courts teaching and you did not arrest me." (Matt 26:55) Jesus was arrested like a criminal by one knowing full well his innocence. I then began to realise that had I never experienced pain and heartbreak I would not fully know, or never be able to truly appreciate what happiness and comfort is. As a follower of Christ I believe in a suffering Saviour. My own pain and emotional turmoil can help me to understand how Jesus felt; to relate and empathise and in a new way know Him more intimately than before.

As Easter approaches and we turn our minds and hearts to Jesus' ultimate sacrifice, by giving up his life on the cross let us remember Jesus the man, whom was left alone in his hour of grief and need. How lonely Jesus must have felt, without anyone beside him. Jesus suffered both physically at the hands of the Romans in his torture and execution, but also emotionally at the hands of his fellow Jews for our sake: for our salvation. The Son of God, blameless, righteous, holy and without sin. Jesus using his free will, in love, went to the cross. I thank God that this Easter I will be able to relate to the passion with more empathy and greater appreciation for what Jesus has done to redeem me.