My spirit was greatly troubled last night when I got home from helping out with the youth work I am involved in. Two things primarily perturbed me: firstly - misconstruing the nature of 'domestic' work and secondly, the prevailing attitude that 'real' men cannot be sensitive and caring. I had decided to help with the washing up as there was a lot of toast being made for the young people and they were running out of clean plates. As I stood there, behind the sink, washing up one of the young girls (who had just moved up to secondary school) exclaimed I was washing up "like a woman"; to which I asked, jokingly, whether she meant washing up was a woman's job or that I washed up like a woman? Her reply struck me - that her perception of washing up was that it was a woman's job! I must admit I was mildly saddened by this response, to which some of my colleagues picked up on this and it became a running joke throughout the evening that I was acting like a 'woman'.
The second incident surrounds a young boy, only 10 years old, who enjoys playing violent computer games and watching violent films, whose age rating is much too old for him. He told me he was looking forward to going home and playing one of his particularly violent games before bed, to which I responded sarcastically that it might give him nightmares. This started a conversation about how he had played this game many times before bed before and it had not given him nightmares. Once again I sarcastically, albeit subtlely, suggested that it would give me nightmares. I was not surprised that he failed to recognise my sarcasm, however, he turned to me and said that I must be a 'wuss' as I was much older than he was. This idea jarred with me, because unbeknown to him, he had exhibited the prevelant attitude amongst society that 'manliness' is intrinsically linked to being 'hard' and unfeeling; that it is in someway unbecoming to a man to show sensitivity and to recoil at violence.
So I left with a troubled heart. I left with a sense of sadness of the lack of parental supervision over this young boy, so impressionable and in many ways so vulnerable to dangerous influences. I was also distressed and to a degree angry that my act of servitude had been mocked as women's work. I was not angry because I wanted recognition, but angry because I had wanted to follow in my Saviour's example and be a good role model to these young people. Yet I was left with uncertainty as to whether that message had come across.
On the night of the Last Supper, as Jesus ate the Passover meal with His disciples before His death, he taught them as he washed their feet:
"I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them." - John 13:15-17
Again Jesus taught as His two disciples James and John requested they be allowed to sit one to the right and one to the left of Him in Heaven:
"Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 1043-45
This world is consumed in darkness. Statistically one in four women will suffer domestic violence and reportedly one incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute! On average two women are killed each week from current or former male partners (statistics from womensaid.org.uk) The ubiquity of Pornography is sickening, and grows at a seemingly exponental rate - as of 2003 there were 1.3 million pornographic websites on the internet and the total revenue for the porn industry in 2006 world wide was $97 billion. Crime rates have soared over the last few decades with only 4 reports out of 1000 of violent crimes in 1951 to 55 out of a 1000 in 2000. The number of men over women being found guilty of crimes is also much higher with 17.1 compared to 3.8 (statistics from statistics.gov.uk/crime). It is also true that girls do better than boys academically in this country. I do not have the time or scope in this blog to conduct a full analysis of these statistics, but at a glance the implications are clear: there is a moral vacuum in this society, which is destroying men from within, whether it is sexual addiction, which objectifies women and degrades them, or violent tendencies that result in domestic abuse and an increase in the crime rate. These deplorable influences are hindering men from creating deep, caring , loving relationships and are callousing our hearts.
Young boys need examples of godly men, men after God's own heart, like King David and most importantly Jesus. It may seem cliched to say the world needs Jesus, but it truly does and I fear for my own sex in particular, that the world with all its demonic influences is corroding our minds and souls like poison! I want to live a life of integrity and faith. To show people, no matter how much I am mocked for it, that there is a truer path, a way of light and of peace for the spirit; that being a caring, compassionate and giving person is not unmanly but rather the better way... for everyone! I want people to recognise the example of Jesus in creating a more caring, selfless and loving society. I truly believe this with all my heart.
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