Well this weekend has been if anything eventful to a point. On friday evening I cut one of my knuckles quite badly whilst washing up! I went to the minor injuries unit at my local hospital and it was checked for glass and then bandaged up. It seemed to be the way of things in my life at the moment. Recently I have been feeling much more positive about my current circumstances - meeting regularly with my new church group and reading my Bible on a daily basis definitely helped. However it's amazing how the little things in life ebb away at you. For example two of my favourite past times at the moment have been quite frustrating: Arsenal need to at least draw (though preferrably win) their final game of the season to secure third place. The last month has been incredibly disappointing for Arsenal as we've drawn once and lost four times in our last 5 games! Secondly I have been frustrated by the lacklustre performances and sub-par booking of TNA wrestling just recently too. The company could be huge but instead are wasting their talent and countless opportunities to make a big impression on the wrestling landscape. Minor points in one's life of course but coupled with other little things make for very exasperating times.
I have been coping with work much better the last few weeks. This has come in large part because of a decision I made regarding my future in teaching as well as disciplining myself to work between my gym commitments. I have really enjoyed going to the gym this past month or so. Not only do I feel fitter and stronger but it is a channel to release tension and frustration built up by the stress of my job and/or life. Unfortunately due to my injury on my knuckle I cannot go to the gym for at least a week as I am unable to grip anything properly with my right hand. The cut is terribly inconvenient both to my work and extra-curricular activities. It is amazing how much we take for granted when fully able. If nothing else this experience has given me more humility regarding my dexterity and full use of my hands.
This morning at church we had a sermon on God's provision and how God provides. The passage was from Philippians chapter 4, an account from Paul of his gratitude to the Philippians' generosity and gifts to him as well as his 'contentment' in the various circumstances he finds his life in. It was a very apt and relevant message for myself who sometimes does struggle with 'the cards I've been dealt with' to borrow a phrase from another sermon series from my church. Paul discovered how to be content in life through his faith in the power of Jesus Christ and the provision of God. This week as I have to learn to cope with going about my daily life with my right hand bandaged up, not being able to actively carry out my extra-curricular activities and living with my current circumstances: I must put my faith in my provider above; the Most High. God has graciously been sustaining me throughout my career thus far, despite the many hard times, steep learning curves, disappointments and personal & emotional difficulties I have gone through. I have not always asked for this life but I trust my God that He will supply everything I need.
God doesn't treat us like spoilt children who only have to cynically and manipulatively throw a tantrum and get what they want. God disciplines His children; those He loves. This past week I have been meditating on a couple of passages from scripture: "seek first the Kingdom of God and all shall be added unto you" and "lean not on your own understanding but trust in God". God does provide but we must learn to first place our trust in Him to do what is best by us as well as to put our lives into the appropriate perspective and context of His Kingdom, which is bigger than any single individual. My prayer and meditation this week is that I shall learn to be content with what I have and where I am in my life currently.
As for my relationships; it has been a year since I broke up with my ex fiancee. There are days when I feel being single is the best thing for me at the moment and other days when I long for a companion to love and be loved by. I continually give this over to God and continue to believe "God works for the good of all those who love Him." Whether it is His will I marry or find someone soon I cannot say. All I can do is trust that if it is in His will I have to be patient for that person will be worth waiting for.
Pretty soon, I don't know what, but something is going to happen...
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