the end of the beginning

As I reflect on this last year I realise that this has been an exceptional year in my life. It has been a year of new beginnings in many respects. As I look to the New Year and all the promise that it holds I am determined to view 2009 not as the beginning of the end but rather the end of the beginning! By that I mean some things have ended in my life this year but so many new things have begun. I am not the same person I was at the start of 2009 and I am determined to embrace the new me!

One area I need to re-evaluate and endeavour to rectify in 2010 is my spiritual life that has come under extraordinary pressure from my work and the lifestyle that my work life has brought. Over these last few weeks my spiritual life has taken a back seat and with the uncertainty of where I will worship next year, I definitely need to get my spiritual focus back.

However, there has been a lot to commend in the life of the new me, a lot I am thankful for and proud of: firstly I am thankful for my job at one of the best secondary schools in the county! Although the responsibility of my work and the reputation I need to uphold and maintain ever looms over my mind, I am so grateful to God and to the school for my position, especially given the economic context of our current recession. My job has also blessed me with more money than I have ever earnt before (as a graduate that's not saying much LOL, but still it's true) and consequently I have been able to afford a new lifestyle, which has included becoming a member of Arsenal football club and going to matches.

Secondly I am proud of the money I raised for the Prostrate Cancer Charity after taking part in the Man of Movember contest. I raised a total of £64! Considering the majority of that money came from my students I think they did brilliantly in being so generous. By taking part in the grow a 'mo' contest I felt it helped build bridges with my students as well as with my colleagues. Although I have to admit I was glad when December came and I could shave it off!

The other thing I am proud of is my ability to adapt and diversify. After my break up with my ex-fiancee I was determined to move on and make positive changes. I believe I have done that, through getting my hair cut, which was a huge symbolic turning point, as well as developing new interests, and rekindling a few old ones! I have become much more active, playing football and tennis as well as becoming a committed Arsenal supporter again. I have also diversified my musical tastes, as well as being more pro-active in expressing myself through prose and poetry: this blog being a prime example of this rejuvinated literary interest. Conversely my literary ambitions extend beyond the realm of internet blogging and I have begun to write a novel. I have attempted to write novels in the past, with no success as I inevitably run out of steam. However, this time I am determined to finish my story and have begun reading more into the genre to help with inspiration.

So looking to the future I know that my hopes and expectations have changed since this time last year; my life is radically different and whilst I am still striving to create the necessary balance in my spiritual life, I believe I will do it and that 2010 is going to be a good year, full of blessing. God has His hand on me, I truly believe that, He has never once let go of me.

"The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, may the name of the Lord be praised". Job 1:21

This was a verse God gave me a few weeks ago and I stand by it and trust in it. God is faithful and my life is His. To understand our place in life and to live in accordance with God's providence. I am going to walk by faith in the new year, by faith that God is for me not against me and in faith that:

"God works for the good of all those who love Him." Romans 8:28

So here's to the end of the beginning!