The Sovereignty of God

This week has put a lot into perspective for me. Earlier in the week, on Wednesday, I was involved in a car accident. Mercifully there was no one else involved and I was uninjured, however my car has been written off after I lost control taking a corner and hit a wall. Thinking of all the worse case scenarios is just not worth it as the thoughts are just too much to bear. But I realise that it could have been far more fatal for either myself or someone else. With this in mind I am just so thankful that 'it was not my time'. I truly felt that God had protected me from a far worse fate.

These last couple of weeks have been a struggle for me spiritually. I have neglected reading my Bible as I should; and other than fleeting spiritually euphoric, and upbuilding moments, at Church on a Sunday morning my walk with God has been practically non-existent. Yet after wednesday afternoon I was reminded in a very real and graphic way of the sovereignty of almighty God. If I have felt distant from God it is because I have drifted from Him not vice versa. I am so thankful for God's gracious protection over me. I have always believed in the divine providence of God, that God has had a plan and a purpose for my life.

Ever since graduating from university my assumptions about God's will for my life have been tested and continually re-evaluated. I am now in a profession that I had no desire to enter into whilst studying at university, conversely I believed when all other doors were closed to me that this was God's provision, and that through this experience God was going to teach and grow me for His future purposes. It has been a hard road and a difficult lesson to learn; one I have not always been receptive too or enthusiastic to embrace, and exacerbated by my split with my ex-fiancee. Despite my desire to pursue the ways of God selflessly and joyfully, too many times my ego or selfish ambition has got the better of me. But I have not quit, nor given up because I still hold to the belief that this is a necessary season in my life.

I know that I didn't necessarily deserve to be saved after neglecting my creator for so long, yet the awesome love of God is such that He preserved my life. Again I am in no doubt as to God's divine providence at work again. I am still single and still in a profession I am not 100% comfortable in nevertheless I desire to meet these challenges and trials in life with joy in the knowledge that God is with me, guiding me and has my best interests at heart. What else can I do for the being who gave His only begotten Son for my sins so that I may be reconciled to Him again and have new life? It's the very least I can do to give my life for my creator and saviour. As Jesus says:

"All who wish to save their lives will lose it, but all those who lose their life for my sake and the sake of the Gospel shall save it." (Matthew 16:25)

I do not pretend to know the mind of God, nor comprehend all His ways. But comprehension is not a prerequisite of obedience and faith. I know my God is with me and for me! Maybe my life will get even harder, I cannot say (nor do I want to predict at this moment) but I do know that God is working out His purposes in my life. Rejoicing in the face of difficulty, suffering and stress is extremely hard. Yet there is a certain peace in the knowledge that there is a higher power in control of my destiny and that this higher power is made accessible through the person and sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Therefore I look to the cross and the Lord Jesus as my example and say:

"not my will but yours be done." (Luke 22:42)

Jesus was perfected through suffering (Hebrews 2:10) and as a follower of Jesus I am not exempt from suffering. Indeed the early apostles and disciples counted it an honour to suffer for the name of Jesus and to share in their saviour's sufferings. This is the path of the Christian. It is through suffering that God forges in His children His character as He did in Jesus. I know this intellectually but I now need to know this in my spirit, so that I may have that inner strength, peace and serenity to persevere. I am just thankful to be alive and praise God for all that I have in life.